A while back my friend Bette suggested I write something about a phrase she had heard that day: hair-trigger anxiety. I Googled to find a definition and found this: A heightened state of arousal, stress or sensitivity to certain sensory stimuli. It can cause intense emotional reactions, anxiety and impulsive patterns of behaviour. It makes us feel alert to hidden dangers - a primal sense of threat, a feeling of treading around on eggshells without knowing why. Or the belief that you need to remain alert in case an impending disaster. At other times it may be a sense of uncertainty that cannot be tolerated. Often, however, the source of the threat cannot be identified and your reaction to it feels disproportionate to the reality. It is as if you have acquired a feeling of unease that cannot be shrugged off, triggering alarm bells for no apparent reason – causing an atmosphere of tension. This is usually played out with a sense of urgency and causes compulsive behaviours that seek to avoid or escape the source of the perceived threat. It occurred to me when I read this definition that this in something many people around the world are living with most of the time. The threat of Isis attack, the mass shootings that seem to be happening every other day, traffic jams and crazy drivers everywhere. These are just a few of the things that can set off some hair-trigger anxiety of any one of us at any given time. And it probably manifests in different ways in different people, even animals. So I wondered how we can cope with this heretofore unknown (at least to me) malady. Breathing helps. Reminding ourselves that the world is evolving and getting more and more crowded. Everyone is feeling the stress of trying to maintain a sense of self and of territory. I remember many years ago in one of my college psycho classes we were shown a film (not video) which talked about an experiment that was done with rats as follows: Some rats were put into an enclosed space just large enough for an optimal population. The rats went about their little rat lives, foraging for food (which was supplied by the scientists, eating, mating and sleeping...the usual stuff even humans do in a normal community. As time went on, even as the rats reproduced themselves, new rats were introduced. Gradually the population began to stretch the resources of the community. Overcrowding started straining the formerly peaceful ways of the rats. Fights broke out. Murders occurred. Cannibalism even happened. It wasn't pretty. That little film has stayed with me in the back of my mind all these years. What I try to remember is that it is important to not let the madness of the world impinge upon me to greatly. I need to detach and let the world go by. I stopped driving so fast, trying to get ahead. I found that I usually arrived at my destination about the same time as usual, or at least about the same time as others on the freeway who had jockeyed to be ahead of me did. It reminded me of the old proverb about the tortoise and the hare. I'm more of a tortoise these days. So whenever I feel like the trigger on my anxiety hairs might be in danger of going off, I stop, think, and then move along...or not. Whatever is appropriate. The anxiety subsides and everything turns to lollipops and rainbows. Well, maybe not quite, but it does feel better, more relaxed and I do not engage in the madness around me. Maybe we could start of HTA 12 Step Support Program? Support is a good things. At least, we should talk to someone. Human contact, which seems to be getting more and more less these days, is one thing being human is about. Aha! And then maybe we can enjoy a lollipop while watching for rainbows again.
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Traditionally a moment of silence is observed whenever there is a tragedy. It can be the death of a member of small work group or a major tragedy such as 9/11 or the most recent one in Orlando. At one time they served a purpose. Now they only seem to emphasize the lack of action taken against the now routine random acts of violence plaguing our world. In the news this morning, it was reported how the US Congress erupted in chaos during the usual moment of silence observed in honor of the victims in Orlando. Reportedly it was mostly democrats who were crying, “Enough. Silence is not the answer.”
There is a time for prayer. And this is indeed one of them. But I learned long ago that God expects more than just prayer. He expects us to act, to be his feet, his arms, his eyes, his heart in this broken world. Pray for the strength to stand up to hate, to attack, to the storm. Whatever version of God you subscribe to, it is what God needs from you. And even if you do not believe in a God, you are still a member of the human family and it is what families do for each other. Even when some members of the family do evil, atrocious things. I was talking with a friend the other night after Orlando happened. He said something about how violent the world has become and how we seem to be getting so calloused to it. For some reason I thought about the 1967 Detroit riots. I was still living in Detroit during that terrible summer. I remember at 16 the fear I felt even though I was fairly safe in my northwest suburban home. I remember watching the news and hugging my mother. The curfew was throughout the metropolitan area. There was a strange silence. I remember going to the end of our drive and looking toward Grand River Ave, one of the main boulevards coming our of downtown. For a moment, I thought I heard the rioters. I didn’t, but it did seem like the end of the world. Each time there is one of these horrific acts or events, it seems like the end is at hand. I told my friend about the above. After 50 years, it is still a violent, broken world in many ways. Sadly, it is nothing new. Yet there is so much good, so many good people. Thinking about that alone, I remember the words of Edmond Burke: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Silence sometimes is golden. Silence sometimes gives us time to find our inner voice, our core of strength. But silence is not golden when it is used to simply make us feel better and move on. 6/10/2016 3 Comments Rush to Nowhere FastAfter spending many hours today battling LA freeway traffic, I am so very tired. Why would anyone do it? I can't imagine why anyone gets into a motor vehicle and heads into Los Angeles just for the heck of it. My destination today was UCLA, Westwood, the Medical Center to be exact. Driving someone in for a medical appointment. Good deed. Nice guy me. Yeah, right. It took two hours to drive in. Four hours to drive home. Bumper to bumper. Madness. Who would do this? Who?
Well, apparently thousands upon thousands of people because they were all out there today. Yep, from tiny smart cars and Mini Coopers to sporty sedans to SUVs to delivery truck and semi's. All of them were out there, jockeying for position. And of course it was a June afternoon. Another graduation day at UCLA. Preparing for a movie premiere, Now You See Me 2, opening tonight. And on the freeway itself, the beginnings of the mad rush to get out of town after another work week. Heading to the dessert, the sea, Palm Springs, the Colorado River, the mountains or, believe it or not, home. Everyone, all at once! Oh well, I survived. Aching butt, spasming quads, eyelids propped open with toothpicks. It seems to me someone should have known about this eventuality. But, no. Everyone wanted their own personal mode of transportation. And now here it is: autogeddon. LOL I guess it just shows to go you what happens when we put our own selfish needs and desires first before the good of all. There's a lesson in all this. I just hope it isn't too late to learn it. 6/9/2016 1 Comment Ninety Eight Years LaterSometimes it is so random the memories that pop up. Tomorrow it will be ninety-eight years since my maternal grandparents married. My grandfather died before I was born. My grandmother passed in '83, shortly before I bought the house I live in now. I often wonder what she would have thought of it. I'm sure the way I moved around while in college she probably never believed I would put down roots. Actually, until I bought the house, I can almost guarantee she thought I would move back to Michigan someday. The purchase of this house changed both our expectations and hopes. My grandmother was very good at helping me know my grandfather. He was a good man, good to his family. He had a minor cleft palet and died of cancer. I remember my grandmother telling me how he would lie in his sick bed at their cottage at the lake and listen to the children playing and the birds singing and cars going by outside. "I hate just lying here," he would say to her. He died in 1946. Seventy years ago. My grandmother remarried in '48 and moved back to the suburbs of Detroit. When I came along, I'm sure I fast became her favorite. At least I was the closest. Her son lived not too far away but married into the Jevovah Witness faith and between that and his wife, a wedge was driven between her and his children. She lavished her attention on me. I guess I am thinking about this right now because of the anniversary tomorrow. As I wrote the other day, that is what anniversaries are about. They help us to remember the important events of our lives. Happy anniversary, Norm and Lucy. You remind me that love always lives on. No matter what you say about all the folks who threw their hats in the ring this primary season as candidates for President of the United States, you have to say they all started with high hopes and great expectations. Sure, many, probably most of the 22 candidates went down in flames. At times it felt like a reality show with each primary held, more candidates being voted off the island. I suppose that is what has made this election cycle so dang fascinating. I found this list of the campaign slogans for each candidate at www.taglineguru.com which presents the 2016 U.S. Presidential Campaign Slogans (ranked highest to lowest) as follows. The commentary is mine.
So there you have it. My two cents for now. I'm done ranting about politics for now. But really, we do need to pay close attention to what is said beyond the slogans. Shake the hand, look into the eyes. And read between the lines. The truth is there for all of us to see. |
Rob McMurray,
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