7/6/2020 0 Comments What Was I Thinking?Ever look at old photos and wonder what you were thinking? I do, but I don't have to with this pic. Picture it: San Bernardino County Admin Center. County employees called it (affectionately I think) the Taj. I am sitting there all duded up waiting to be presented to the Board of Supervisors to receive my retirement resolution certificate. No wonder I'm smiling, huh? That was in June of 2009. I was a mere kid...at least it feels like it now. Never dreamed I'd still be kicking all these years later. Well, no, I guess I did kinda think I would, but even so, it is kind of a feat of accomplishment. I spent just days short of thirty years with the County. But it did pay off I guess. Anyway, across the years things change and yet I look at old photos like this and wonder what I was thinking. What lay ahead? Did I do the right thing? Would I miss working? Eleven years later, I know some of the answers. And, still, here I am, still asking the same questions. What lies ahead? Am I doing the right thing? Will I miss working? LOL I found this on a website called LoyalityLeader.com. "There's an old saying, “Smile. It increases your face value.” It also increases your success. Researchers conclude that people who frequently smile appear to be more successful than their less-happy peers in three primary areas of life: work, relationships, and health." See the original at LoyaltyLeader.com And that's worth smiling about.
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Well, it's Independence Day again and I find myself thinking of how I was born and bred to believe in the right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." And now I wonder if that is slipping away. I find myself feeling that raising the flag today is not a celebration of our establishment as a democracy where all men and women are created equal. Why, then, are we still sorting that out? Once again I debated whether I should fly my flag on this the anniversary of our declaring independence from what we deemed as oppressive regime. And early this morning, I hoisted it up once again by my front entrance. All the while I was thinking, it is my flag, my country and right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" we I celebrate along with every other American and this 244th anniversary of that day in 1776. I listen to the current occupant in the White House speaking from Mount Rushmore and the lawn of the White Houes. I am alarmed by what he says. Inaccurate, untrue, and pandering to a base of which I am not and never can be a member. A few years ago, I wrote: "I am thankful for waking up freer than most in a country that has more rights than most and may not be perfect, but is my home and we can agree to disagree." That is still mostly true. I realized if I didn't hoist up Old Glory, I was giving in. We cannot let the forces of darkness win. So once again, I may not celebrate as joyously this year, in part due the current pandemic raging around us, but I still claim my rights as a citizen and am thankful for what the flag has always stood for... "with liberty and justice for all." 7/1/2020 0 Comments Lost Time Last Time Lost The thought keeps rising in my mind about the idea of lost time. We've lost so much time. March, April, May...all of spring went by without the usual awakenings. Sure, nature did her thing. Flowers bloomed, fruit ripened, temperatures warmed. Some rain, some sun, some morning, some night. But what of the rites of spring? And now June has gone, too. Summer has begun. Did it "bust out all over"? If it did, I really didn't notice. And now it is July first. Even the weather has been off. Is the corn as high as an elephant's eye? We there be firework displays in the usual places instead of every night in every neighborhood, scaring small animals and battle-scarred veterans? I wish I had been more productive during these first months in the Time of Covid. Instead I stayed to myself, isolated, shopped online. I attended some zoom meetings with friends and church services. Little did those folks know how this became so important to me. Connection. I miss connection, I think. And freedom. I miss getting in the car and just driving somewhere. To Trader Joe's or the botanical parks or a museum. A movie. Up the coast. Lost time. Time is never lost. It's currency is spent as we see fit. Did I waste my time? No, I don't think so. All of this has been valuable in its own way. Sometimes I felt like armageddon had come. Or perhaps the rapture. And here I was, left behind. And yet I never really despaired. I just hunkered down. I knew we would move through this season of the plague. And I still know we will. Lost time last time lost. Lost time doesn't last and this is the last time lost time will get to me. Since we really only have the "now", how can it be that time is lost? Sure, I'm a little older, maybe a bit wiser, but I am not lost. I am emerging from the haze of spring to do what I feel called to do. I am finally enjoying time with myself, my animals, and with readers like you with whom in the virtual reality of things, are always with me. You can't lose time. There is no last time. Time is time. And that's about it. |
Rob McMurray,
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