8/20/2016 1 Comment If Wishes Were Horses...There is an element of truth to that old saw, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." Of course they would have to find a way to care for and feed the horses. Would they use the horses to travel to where there is work? Would they use the horses to help plow a field to raise crops for food? Well, we may never know since wishes are not horses, at least not in the literal sense. Last night at my Friday Night Writes writing group we did something a little different. At the suggestion of our host, we did an exercise from Julia Cameron's book, The Right to Write. Cameron is usually spot on with her observations and methods of breaking through blocks. Her book Artist's Way has helped me break through some of my personal blocks to being a creative. Of course that doesn't mean I don't back-slide or make u-turns now and then. But when I practice what she preaches, I usually find myself back on the right road. The exercise was to number a sheet of paper from 1 to 25. Then, as quickly as possible, write down 25 personal wishes you have...no censoring...just what you would wish for at that particular moment. We all did the exercise as directed. As I wrote mine down, I was surprised how many of the wishes were the same old wishes I have been making for nigh onto a half century: to travel, to write more, to read faster with comprehension and up the intake, to exercise more. There were wishes cook creatively more, entertain friends more, find activity support groups that work for me, go to the theatre, the movies, take long baths, on and on. I wished to set solid boundaries and say no when that's what I want to say. I wished to do more artist's dates, work on and complete my languishing memoirs. As you can see, those are things that I have been wishing for, for what seems like forever. Hmmm. I once heard it said that as long you are trying to do something, you will never actually do it. That means you get caught up in the trying and not in the doing. I imagine wishing is like that. What I likes about the exercise is that it definitely is a way to set your intentions. Intentions are the beginnings of deeds. You have to intend to go to market before you actually go, for example. So now I have a list. 25 items. Cameron suggests updating or re-doing the list about once a month. She suggests that you will find yourself pondering your wishes and actually making some motion toward them as you go about your day. Today I do know those things I wished for have been on my mind. And many once again sound actually doable. So what are you wishing for? Maybe you should make a list. There is something about the brain-hand-pen-paper connection that makes dreams become reality. At least it brings things into focus. Take it from me, I may not be a beggar, but the horse seems to be ready to ride.
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The mind is a funny thing. Sometimes it just doesn't want to settle on any one subject. It jumps all over the place. They say meditation (and maybe medication) can help this "monkey mind" phenomenon. I say sometimes you just need to flow with it. Let the mind go where it wants to go.
Thinking about anniversaries. The 16th was the anniversary of the day I met one of my best friends and the direction of my life changed forever. We've been through good times and tough times and we are still friends. Some relationships shape-shift and morph over the years. This one has persisted and I think is good for the duration. The 18th was the 33rd anniversary of the death of my grandmother. The 19th is the 37th anniversary of the death of my granddad. Don't ask me why I always remember these dates so clearly. And how many years. My mind (and heart) just seem programmed that way. But don't ask me why I can't remember weather I've take my morning ginko biloba (ironic) and other meds without one of those pill box minders. And even then... But as far as my grandparents, well, I know it was the end of my family as I knew it. Its been one month since we had to put Tater to sleep. Miss her every day. She was a trooper, a love, a source of support and one of my best friends. On being sentimental: I am glad I am. I treasure my memories and enjoy my frequent trips down memory lane. I'll be glad when the really hot weather is over. I'm not a hot weather kind of guy. I really belong in the bay area, but my danged roots are firmly entrenched here. And the thought of moving makes me have an anxiety attack! LOL Anyone else looking forward to November 9th? (Election Day is November 8) I'm happiest when I'm gardening or tending to my yard, writing, capturing images. I like going to the movies, live theatre, museums and going for walks. Makes me wonder why I don't do any or all of these things more. Could it be that dang Puritan Ethic? No one is watching. Hmmm. Meandering is good. It is what an old river does after many, many years of rushing to the sea. It kind of subsides into an easy flow, taking the easy course through well worn beds of sand and stone. There comes a time when this is how it should be. No hurry to cut a new course through rock or woods. Old man river, he just keeps rolling along. Hmmm. I could continue. I remember when I was a teenager I would write these long one line maze-like random thoughts. You'd need to turn the paper around each corner until it got to the center. That was fun. I used to play with words more. Time to start again. Watch out. Okay, that's enough for a Friday. Glad I didn't just shine it on because I "didn't feel like it." That is my frequent excuse. Don't buy it. If you do, all I will have left at the end is excuses. And there you have it. Another random session of thoughts and musings! 8/16/2016 0 Comments Smoke From a (Not So) Distant FireTonight a fire burns in the Cajon Pass, not far (enough) from my home in Riverside. The chances of the flames reaching my door are somewhat slim, but still, the fear is real. Last year there was a fire in the riverbed of the Santa Ana, within walking distance of my house. It was a miracle someone wasn't killed or a home or two lost. I seem to remember and out-building did burn. It was tense for a while. And it is tense right now with what they are calling the Blue Cut Fire. I know people who live in some of the communities affected. The pass is closed. Commuters can't easily get home without long detours. Homes have burned. Evacuations are mandatory.
So I have to wonder why I stay here. I have to wonder why some many people stay here...and more come every day. It is somewhat beyond my comprehension. It is like we are all in a big crap shoot, betting against the odds, and if we are lucky, we come out intact on the other side. But why? The weather is temperate, except for some extended periods in the summer when the heat rises so high you don't want to venture outside. And there are earthquakes, winds, floods and more. Yet we stay. In the midwest they have floods, tornados, electric storms. Same in the south. In the northwest, they, too, have much the same kind of acts of nature as we have here. It seems no matter where you go, there is some type of risk of encountering the wrath of Mother Nature. It does make me wonder if maybe we are too busy trying to conquer and bend Nature's will to ours. Surely Nature naturally rebels. Not out of spite, but out of self defense. Just look what we have done to the Earth so far. I've heard it said that here is southern California, we have no seasons. Yes, we have spring, summer, winter and fall, but those are definitely overshadowed by these other biggies: Fire Season, Earthquake Season, Flood Season and Santa Ana Season and our latest extended season of Draught. Each feed into each other. The fires burn the brush and vegetation necessary to hold back or absorb the waters of winter rains and melting mountain snow. Floods wash away the same vegetation and undergrowth along with the very earth and sand that we build our homes and businesses on. Then of course earthquakes come along and shake everything up, knocking things down and severing transportation arteries along with other destruction. Sometimes earthquakes cause fires. And the Santa Ana winds come along and stir everything up. And so here I am, feeling a bit on edge, yet strangely secure, watching the flames rage on in the Cajon Pass about 25 to 30 miles from here. The residents know, as the newscasters say, to be ready to move at a moment's notice. Possessions, animals, other valuable. Always have a plan to pack up and run. And so I wonder, what if that fire, or another, sweeps into Riverside? Seems unlikely, but still... And yet I sit here, seeing the smoke of this latest (not so) distant fire, and keep my hands folded with no thought of moving out of So Cal. After all, it is home. Sometimes, just sometimes, but not all the time, you have to do something just because. Kinda like picking up the (metaphoric" pen and just letting it take you wherever it wants to go. This is one of those times. Sometimes I wonder just how I got here. You know, to this particular age in this particular city, doing this particular sort of thing, in this particular way. I know, I know, its all the result of all the choices I've made up until now. No decision in particular, but the bottom result of all the decisions up until now. You know, just as whole is greater than the sum of its parts, my life is more than the sum of my memories. Okay, while you ponder that, I have to tell you I have been wondering about some other stuff. What the heck is going on with the world? Is it just me, or have things begun to spiral out of control? I have to wonder if, hold onto your hat, we are all going to h-e-double toothpicks in a hand basket. But I really don't want to talk politics or moral imperatives tonight. I was just wondering. I like to walk the dogs in the morning. Lately it has been getting hot way too early and I'm way to lazy to get up way too early to take them before it gets...well you know. I'm ready for the cooler weather, but, bite my tongue! I am not ready for Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Didn't we just go through all that? Yep, its true, time does go by faster as you get older. I kinda like being random. And I do like thinking and musings and all that stuff. But I don;t want to go on too long. It's Monday night, and the truth is, I wasn't into blogging, but I didn't want to let too much time go by before picking up that metaphoric pen, you know. Better things ahead, I'm sure. In the meantime, keep thinking, keep musing, whether randomly or not. 8/13/2016 0 Comments The Muse of Heat LightningIt is Saturday noon. I am at my place on the deck in my side yard. It is getting very warm. The shade of the umbrella over the table where I sit keeps it a bit cooler, but it is only going to grow hotter as the sun leisurely strolls across the sky. I am lacking imagination right now. Or perhaps I am just weary. Not really sure. I got up and started the laundry, watered, had breakfast, etc. Decided that waiting to walk the dogs in the cool of the evening was the prudent thing to do. And so here I am, sitting at the keyboard, waiting for lightning to strike. But there are no clouds, not even a chance of rain. No thunder either. We continue in a draught here in Southern California. Rain is not on the agenda again today.
When I was growing up in Michigan I remember we would experience something called "heat lightning." It is a flash or flashes of light seen near the horizon, especially on warm evenings, believed to be the reflection of distant lightning on high clouds. Or so the old wives' tale goes. It really is just lightning from a distant storm, a storm so far away the thunder is not heard and no rain shared. So I guess so much for the prospect of even heat lightning igniting any creativity at the moment. Yet I did sit down. I did do my morning pages. I did open the blog and begin to write. So something did move through me onto this the latest entry in my blog. See? The muse moves in mysterious ways. Even when you don't think you are able to squeeze even a drop of inspiration out of your sorely weathered soul, it moves on seemingly without you, as if to say, "Get out of my way, I've something to say." Ah, muse, you are so clever and so illusive. I'm so glad you show up when I least expect you. |
Rob McMurray,
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